Things I will Never Miss

We are now officially in our 31st week of pregnancy, and I would say time is neither flying by nor moving at a snail's pace. 


As I get closer to my due date, people often ask me if I am tired of being pregnant yet? My first reaction to that question is no, not really. I never had the terrible morning sickness, fatigue was offset by the fact that my extremely great husband allows me to stay home and not work, and I haven't gotten a huge pregnancy stomach...yet. Things are running fairly smoothly so far. However, if I think about that question a little bit more, I would say that there are several things that I am tired about when it comes to pregnancy. 


These things have nothing to do with the actual baby that I am carrying. The baby does very little to harass me during waking or sleeping hours in fact. Instead I will be happy not to be harassed by the endless questions and the heaps of advice that I receive from others. Sounds kind of terrible, but I think a lot of women might agree. 


Here are a few of the things that I indeed will be happy to say good bye to:


1. "How do you feel?" Every person on greeting me asks this question inevitably. Indeed I feel just the same as I did before pregnancy, so PLEASE STOP asking!! I have no idea how to answer this question. I feel fine...or should I make up a list of dramatic symptoms so we can have something to talk about?


2. "Are you able to do that?" Yes, yes I can. Now, there are certain things that I can't do like lift heavy weights at the gym, hop into a sauna (or do anything else that overheats me), or drink alcohol (not that I do anyway). However, almost everything else...yes...I can do it. Walking will in fact not kill me. I am capable of going to crowded places. I do not in fact need to be a hermit. Now as time goes on and I get more tired, I may choose not to go out for long periods of time....but this is my choice.


3. "Can you eat/drink that?" I ordered tea at lunch one day, and a friend about had a heart attack! Yes it had a tiny amount of caffeine in it, but well within the allowable limit. It shall be okay. I can indeed eat almost anything except for uncooked meats and unwashed vegetables and some cheeses. But I can eat 99.9% of normal foods!


4. "Are you craving that?" Every time I say I want to eat ABC or XYZ, I am  immediately asked..."oh is that a craving?" Umm, no! I'm hungry and that is what I feel like! It isn't pregnancy related. This is no different when you answer what you want to eat for dinner.


5. "How was your last doctor's appointment?" Ok, this one may be a bit cruel to be annoyed about....but it still does get under my skin. It went fine as far as you are concerned. If something really went wrong...would you actually want to know? Would you know how to react? I'm sure if there was something to tell...I would. Though I completely understand why people ask...it drives me nuts.


6. Your baby will look more Japanese/white. You have no idea, and neither do I. However, I definitely don't appreciate a discussion on our baby's race! Who cares which it looks like!! It will be a perfect blend of the two. I know Ten and I don't care "which she looks more like," so why do you? If I hear one more time about how our baby will have black hair/blue or dark eyes/pale skin, I will scream. 


7. You need to buy this/that now! You are just in denial that you are having a baby. What? Trust me there is no denial when you are kicked in the stomach so many times a day that you feel a bit of motion sickness. We are just really wise shoppers. We always have been. So, it shouldn't surprise you that we do a lot of research on things before purchasing them.


8. Parenting Advice with the comment "You'll see." I do not care that you believe in spanking your child. I do not care that you think breastfeeding for an extended amount of time is strange or plain inconvenient.  You think that babies should learn self soothing by crying a bit in the night? Great for you. When you ask about what we believe....we don't need the response "you'll see!" No, you will see that we have different beliefs and will try to do things differently. Your way is not the right way!


9. Labor/Birth Advice. Simply put...it is none of your business. I don't care if you highly recommend an epidural or wish that you had had one. You are not me! I think it is even worse when people speak negatively to you about the decisions that are you making. Why be a source of discouragement? Shouldn't we try to uplift people in their choices if they aren't doing anything wrong or hurting anyone. Also, I will punch you in the face if you talk about how I have no idea how painful labor is...and I just have no idea. Yes, indeed it is painful.....but your experience will not be mine. We can't even really  predict what each person's labor will be like, but we definitely shouldn't try to undermine their ideas or scare them!


I better stop here. The list may go on forever...I didn't even think I had this many...hahaha

Have-tos and Want-tos

I was listening to the radio the other day, and a program came on about organization. It said there are two types of things that we are required to do in life, and they can be divided in to "have-tos" and "want-tos." There are things that we have to do in order to get to the things that we want to do. It is a really simple and logical explanation.


As I was washing dishes, I was thinking about how I need to manage my have-tos better to get to the want-tos. So, I was mentally making a list of my have-tos and want-tos. I soon realized that I had about a million have-tos and only a tiny amount of want-tos. In fact, I had turned a good amount of my want-tos into have-tos. This is a really sad thing in my opinion. How have I turned fun things into obligations?


I mean sometimes I feel like I have to finish the book that I'm reading. I have to watch these movies that I've gotten. I have to go to this or that event. I have to upload these pictures or make this photo album. All of these things I should be enjoying doing....but instead I feel like I have to! How did I do this? I think that I have become so obsessed with getting things done that I have forgotten how to actually enjoy the things that I am doing.


So, now I have decided that I am going to try to keep my want-tos as want-tos and try to turn more of my have-tos into want-tos.


I am going to enjoy my time reading books and watching movies. I will enjoy going out and visiting with people. I am going to look forward to organizing and preparing for a new baby. I will also try to enjoy the time I spend planning menus and cooking meals. I will put on a smile when I clean and do laundry because it will make a less stressful environment for us. The list continues. 


As I have been practicing keeping these thoughts in mind I have found that my days are less stressful. I actually get more accomplished, and I am overall happier. So, I am going to continue to work on eliminating have-to from my vocabulary.

Hidden Gem

The weather is slowly getting better here in Tokyo, and I do so hope that warmer days are coming soon. So, with all of this nice weather....it really makes me miss living in cities that have lots of greenery. Tokyo is mostly gray....sigh. However, Ten introduced me to this great park, and it is only like a 5 minute walk from our apartment.

Isn't it wonderful? It is clean, and they have tons of benches to hang out on....and the best part.....they have a huge area with picnic tables!!! Yes, my picnicking dream is getting one step closer to becoming a reality. We can have nice picnics outside...rather than the ghetto ones we have been having on our living room floor....hahaha. Someone once told me that picnics and picnic tables aren't really a Japanese thing...well my friends...I beg to differ.

On another note, really close to this park is a really great shrine and temple....Yes, indeed I think they have both almost across the street from each other. We loved all of these statues.

We loved spending a few hours walking around here and looking at everything. This is the perfect spot to escape our cramped apartment on nice days...and it is miraculously not that crowded...well at least the few times we have been here.

Anyway, I will leave you with this picture of us 2 months ago. If you try very hard, you may see Mt. Fuji in the background...hahaha. It was actually the first time I've seen it since living in Tokyo (going on 5 years)...Shame on me...yes, I know.

Another one of these...

I really hate to do so many of these posts where I just bullet point everything and throw it together, but here goes another one. There are just too many things going on to make it into one cohesive post....and I'm too lazy to blog every day. So....here it goes:

• Biggest News of the Week: We are going to be having another little nephew or niece welcomed into the family at the end of this year. This is really exciting!! I can't wait to go home to visit in December so that we can all get together!!
• Biggest Stress at the Moment: This is nothing to be extremely stressed about, but this year I have to buy gifts for 3 of my cousins' baby showers along with the above mentioned nephew or niece. Plus our nephew's birthday is next month. Yikes this is a lot of gifts, but I know everyone else is in the same situation. I really don't mind it, but it is a lot to consider...plus we haven't bought anything for our baby yet...hahaha!!
• We came up on the one year anniversary of the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear disaster here in Japan. A lot of people have shared this video, but I will here again. It is well worth watching.

So many people were affected by the tsunami in one way or the other. In Tokyo we were so lucky, but it definitely wasn't the easiest of times.

• Also, I attended a meeting with the Tokyo Pregnancy Group to learn about some baby related things. Really nice ladies, and I highly recommend this group to those having babies in the Tokyo area!! There is also no pressure to join every meeting, so that is really nice.
• Finally, we have started to go to our bi-weekly checkups for the baby and will soon go on our hospital tour. Getting very close to the time where we can start really counting down.

Anyway, I think that I will leave it at that for now. I really hope to start actually writing regular posts again soon! I just get so caught up in the mornings with Skype chats and then before your know it I have to rush around our apartment cleaning it up so I can start dinner before Ten gets home...yes, I need a time management intervention...this I know.

Cleaning out the Old Noggin

• We had our Skype baby shower yesterday, and it went about as smoothly as I expected. Which wasn't smooth at all...haha. However, it was really nice and I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures of everyone from Hannibal.
• I found out about 2 minutes after my baby shower that my cousin is pregnant. 4 girls so far in my family and all due about two months apart. Very exciting! I wish her and her husband the best of luck in their pregnancy.
• I have a bit of a panic attack every time I receive a new baby gift. I may actually keel over and die once we start buying our stuff which we should probably do soon since we don't have that much more time. Anyway, Ten thinks my anxiety is kind of funny but weird...I don't blame him.
• I am really excited about sending out Thank You cards to everyone who attended or sent something...I love writing notes to people. Much more personal than Facebook Thank Yous and texts. It's really a shame that many people don't do this anymore....:(
• On a completely different note....I'm wondering if a bad attitude should be expected when dealing with the service industry in people from Western countries. I have so many examples but the most recent comes from my dear country of the U.S. Dear tax lady, I was just gently pointing out something you missed....no need to get defensive about it. Wow.
• Also, I'm really wondering what is going on with the weather here. It is raining all of the freaking time!! To make matters worse....we only have a few more months before rainy season starts...so really wondering if we are going to catch a break from this weather.
• As some of you may know, I am gaining a small obsession for....picnicking. hahaha. Yes, I don't know why but I want to be able to have beautiful picnics outside. I marvel at different picnic baskets online all the time. I can't wait for this weather to clear up to start this new little hobby. hahaha.
• Finally, I think I may venture into the world of ebooks. I love paper books so much, but I've been told that this is the way of the future....and I might as well not fall behind...sigh....