I am such a perfectionist that it is absolutely annoying. I can't stand it when things are done "wrong," and I can't seem to get up the energy to tackle any project unless I can give it 110%. This character flaw has been on my mind a lot recently, and I'm racking my brain to try to figure out how to accept the imperfect....please help if you have advice....
Anyway, so here are the list of things that I've left on the nothing side recently, and I'm hoping that I can change my state of mind to get something done:
Relationships: I'm a wife, granddaughter, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, niece, and friend. I'm hoping to be able to step up in all of these areas somehow...even if it just means to be more open to talking or making time for people.
Studying: Haven't touched some of my courses recently because of my perfectionist thinking....goes something like this....ugh...can't find all of the resources I need because don't have access to proper library....essays won't be great....ugh..can't be bothered....Same goes for my Japanese...ugh will never be able to speak fluently...never have to use it (though I know this is a terrible excuse)...so can't be bothered.
Home: My apartment has no space....in mind thinking....can't decorate it how I would imagine my dream home...so result is...it is very sparse.
Anyway, some of this springs from laziness I will admit, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I can't have things done exactly the way I want....sigh...
So new goal: Start what I finish and be happy with the things that I achieve and ignore the small imperfections since those are what make life....life...after all.
Hmmm...well with me I found that I was afraid to fail..so I really avoided a lot of things until recently. It was really hard to finish things because, believe it or not I am a perfectionist too. Even though I don't look it or act like it. It's cuz I would give up really easily before I could mess up things even more.
ReplyDeleteSo I found the core of my problem and that was, that I was deadly afraid of failing. I faced it...had some cries..and then let it pass. I accepted that I was a perfectionist but that it's okay to fail sometimes, cuz I won't die from it. And nobody really cares that much, except me. Just live in the now and don't fret about the future so much!
That's why I kind of suddenly decided to quit working and go after what I really wanted to do cuz I finally have the confidence now yay!
I guess a lot of these things stem from a fear of something. It helps to find the true source of it (^_^)
.....self awareness is a bitch ain't it??
From a person that has known you from the begining of your time here on earth and before. You have always been a perfectionist. (Always).The person I know you to be is .. kind, unselfish,and helpful to many people. I think you have always been wise beyond your years,becasue you had to be. So there is nothing wrong with you just relaxing and enjoy everything you have worked so hard for.
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